rediscovering eden
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the bright and morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
whom shall i fear
whom shall i fear
i am yours
dailies
Wednesday, April 23, 2003
-11:38:00 p.m.
harlow pple! so i noe...it's been ages but i'm tooooo lazy 2 blog aniting nowadaes...having 2 tink of wut 2 type izz too taxing 4 ma brain *grinz!*
well aniwae, so here's d latest update on ma life:
1.
I'M GONNA KILL CLARE!!!!!! i've started planning ma assassination liao... (*heh!* kidding :)
2. i sat wif sumbodie 4 lunch 4 d 1st time in scona 2dae!!!! yap, her name's samantha, she's tiz realli nice h.k. gurl hu came in grade 10, i tink...yar, so she's been realli nice 2 mi n all since we did tt eng project 2gether :)
3. n i noe another person called dominique...man, she's TOTALLY lyk andrea!!!! so all u pple out there, tell andrea k??? i suspect they mite b related but well...andrea's never said aniting bout tt...! aniwae, it's their facial expressions n d tings they do...i'm sure u'll b able 2 tell tt they're similar once u noe her...u noe, andrea's famous sacarstic talent n roll-eye-ings!! but underneath it all, she's lyk andrea...a realli nice person :)
4. i'm not goin 2 old scona...their registration hasn't started yet n i haf 2 return ma "passport" (tiz tingy we need 2 register in2 skools) by 2moro!!!it's damn retarted, each skool has their own registration period n passport periods n it's all different so how'd they expect us 2 do both @ d same time?????????!!! lyk it's onlie LOGICAL....man tiz shows how idiotic d pple here r......
5. i'm screwed coz i'm having a social exam (test) 2moro n i hafn't studied yet!!!! coz i had 2 work till 8 2dae....okok! so now i'm online instead of studying...but can i help it if d internet's MUCH more interesting den world war I???? n lenin? n bismarck? n wilson or wut's his name??? so basically i'm screwed...period! plus, i'm forsaking ma LORD OF THE FLIES questions on chapter 1-2...van leenen's gonna kill mi...:P well hu cares? i hate her guts aniwaes...but lord of the flies
IS realli a brilliant bk, anione hu's read it would agree wif mi...i noe i hate her but i haf 2 admit her "lit" lessons r good...juz tt i'm gonna haf 2 play d "nerd" role in klass if i listen n take down notes!!! den again, i can't help it if i
AM interested in analysing literature stories rite???
6. well, 2moro u'll hear mi saying tiz again...I'M SCREWED!!!! coz i'll b having a chemistry
N math exam (test) on fri n i still haf 2 work till 8...
7. ok, i can't realli tink of aniting else 2 blog...
8. oh!!! i noe, i got a new computer! but i'm still considering changin d CPU coz it was an open box one...n it's a LITTLE bit kookoo!!!
ok, i've runned out of tings 2 sae...so i guess i shld go now den...c u guyz later! (or mayb in a few weeks time *grinz!*) unless by sum miracle...
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Wednesday, April 16, 2003
-12:20:00 p.m.
i juz hate making decisions�
but now I haf 2 decide whether I wanna stay in scona or transfer skool 2 old scona (yes it's 2 different skools!!!) it seriously sux but yah, I'm considering d change�coz basically, scona izz sorta lyk a neighbourhood skool wich I've been forced 2 go based on d fact tt I live in tiz area (another reason 2 hate living wif ma aunt's family!!!! *haha!* no lar :) I wanted 2 go 2 ainley but d counsellor directed mi here coz no skool will accept a new student in d middle of d semester unless they're living in tt area (n den it'll b tt skool's responsibility 2 do so) so yeah, as u guyz haf all read�I hate d skool coz I haf no frenz�(n u're lyk, izzn't ur own problem then??? Lyk even if u go old scona u'll still end up in d same state coz u're d one not making d effort!!!) I guess it's true�I admit I hafn't been trying d hardest but wallowing maself in self-pity most of d time�however, I DID try�juz not super hard�
ma sista made a good point: I'm in a totally new country where d cultures r different, d way they make frenz izz different too�so in their eyes, I'm probably not a very friendly person coz I'm not approaching them or aniting�but frm ma perspective, I AM d new student after all n yeah, I admit tt 4 @ least 4 d 1st month, I was realli freaked out bout going 2 skool�I'm onli beginning 2 settle down n get used 2 d place now�n feel more lyk I'm part of d skool�
but den again, u all can wave ur fingers @ mi n go *tsk!* X2�eden's juz making up excuses 4 herself again!!! Do u guyz noe how sad I feel nowadaes???? Seriously, it sux n most of d time I juz try 2 ignore tiz feeling�sumtimes it works, I get ma mind off things (n work n stuff) but den sumtimes I juz become super depressed�den it's lyk a wave, cuming n goin n cuming back again�
I noe, I blame maself a lot too, 4 being such a chicken n not toking 2 pple�4 being such an anti-social�tiz life izz juz not mi!!! I need pple 2 tok 2�now I dun seem 2 haf frenz in skool n I feel lyk I'm drifting away frm everyone I noe in s'pore�
So I've been praying bout everyting�I guess it realli helps :) wen I'm super depressed, I start praying n it gives mi peace! it's different frm toking 2 ma mum n effie, I mean, they're realli nice bout it n all�lyk supporting mi but they're still human, times they say stuff tt hurts mi w/out knowing n I would feel lyk I haf no one 2 turn 2�but praying izz different, I gif all ma worries 2 God n try 2 believe tt He'll take care of the rest! (I'm still tryin 2 believe�n I realli need 2 increase ma faith man�) It's realli cool wen He comforts mi instead of reproaching mi�tt's y d last few days has been great :) juz tt now, I'm feeling tt super low depressing tide again�hu noes? Mite b a satanic attack�trying 2 prevent mi frm going 2 God n hating Him 4 it�but I muz remain strong in God! Yes! *go eden!!!*
Ok, so I've juz digressed a lot frm wut I was initially toking about�changing skools! I was tinking, changin skools mite b a chance 4 mi 2 start over (yes�AGAIN!!!) coz now I haf a better idea how pple here make frenz so I can go over there n do tt! But if I do, I'll b startin anew as a 12 grader n I would onlie haf a yr 2 make frenz�plus, if I realli do end up making frenz here in scona b4 I leave, I would haf 2 leave ma new found frenz! So yeap�kinda confused rite now, coz d current situation izz bad, obviously I would wanna leave�but I never noe! Shld I stick 2 tiz skool??? Sigh�ma mum tinks I shld juz go 2 old scona coz it's realli much more acedemic den mine�c how lar!
Yap�tink I shld get goin now�lunch period's almost over!!! Cya!
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Tuesday, April 08, 2003
-5:19:00 p.m.
hao woo liao orh...*hehe!* ok, 4 dose of u hu dunch understand chinese (n dose hu do but haf no idea wut it izz!!!), wut i'm saying izz: I'M SOOOOOOO TERRIBLY BORED!!!!!!! yesh...tiz izz torture man...ultimate sianess of d century!!! but as clare saes...if u blog everyting tt happens in ur life (even minor stuff)...it's probably not as boring as it seems!!! ok, did i get tt rite clare??? oops! not direct quote lar *hehe!* coz ur english izz not as bad as mine
HOR???? well eniwae! yap so pple! i shall try 2 blog more stuff nowadaes...even if it's boring...*haha!* u can all go n kill clare if u die of boredom reading tiz *grinz!*
well yar...juz 2 tell u all, i "skipped" skool yesterdae! lyk on d 1st dae of skool after spring break *hehe!* no lar...i had diarrhoea lar n was shitting every 5 mins!! (okok i'm exaggerating!) but yar! so gross man...n ma stomach was making funny noises all dae long...but now i'm ok! (thank GOD!!!) n no i din get SARS! *hehe!* tout i would b d 1st case in edmonton 2 get it but no such honour *hehe!* i mean, i wondered if i realli DID get SARS...would d pple in skool regret treatin mi so bad n all cum beggin 4 ma 4gifness @ ma deathbed??? den i figured tt they won't even cum n visit mi coz of d risk of contracting d disease themselves!!! *haha!* wishfull thinking eden!!! but i wouldn't wanna get SARS...not b4 i've gone back 2 s'pore 1st *hehe!*
CHOI!!!!!! y am i toking bout such dumb stuff????? curse maself onlie.......
yap eniwae! did i tell u tt i'm in MAJOR trouble??? coz 4 english we're gonna haf 2 do tiz project in groups...n as usual...mr b. izz so "nice" 2 let us choose our own groups once again!!! great...welcome 2 ma "i'm such an anti-social tt i dun wanna work wif anione" world...well, @ least tt's how it seems 2 everyone else! as i've said b4, i tried asking them if i could work wif them...it's not MA fault tt they ignore mi rite??? but yar...coz i got so pissed tt dae coz mr b was saying how we shld all try 2 work in groups but "4 dose hu r extreme introverts n anti-socialists, i shall make exceptions!!!!" (hey, direct quotation mind u...) lyk AHHH!!! do i look lyk tt 2 u??? do i??? so shitty man!!! i mean, i guess i shld b glad tt he lets us do group work coz it gifs mi a chance 2 try 2 interact wif pple...but i can't do aniting if they're not as willing rite???
ok eden, u're juz fooling urself...open ur eyes n there mite b sum nice person whom u've yet 2 know...
okok fine...i'll try summore...there's alwaes hope!!!! (tink...lord of d rings2...they were losing d battle man!!! but they had hope *grinz!*) *yesh!!!* i feel so..."recharged wif hope"!!! *haha!* ok lar :) i'm feelnig better juz by comforting maself! how weird's tt??? *haha!* but tt's how i've been nowadaes, alwaes toking 2 maself...well, @ least more den i used 2 in s'pore...n i hope 2 becum more spiritual...yesh...tt's ma personal committment...God's alwaes there 4 mi :) n yar! heard there's a realli good book called "a purpose-driven life" (i tink...) i've not yet read it but everyone's saying how good it izz...i'll probably borrow it frm ma mum 2 read :) yap! okie! so much 4 ma boring life! i'll cya later!
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-4:26:00 p.m.
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Friday, April 04, 2003
-2:38:00 p.m.
HARLOW!!!
wusss up everybodie? long time no c :) *hehe!* actualli not realli lar...it's onli been a few daes...missed mi??? *haha!* dun answer tt! well eniwae, guess wut? 4 a moment i tout i got SARS!!! *haha!!!* coz it sounds logical n i'm sick aniwaes! yesterdae i had tiz terrible headache while i was working n tiz morning i woke up wif a sore throat n a supposedly felt-lyk fever! yap! i tout i was gonna die.......*haha!* but lo n behold!!!! it's onlie been 4 hrs n i feel fine *hehe!* in fact, i'm munching on ma sista's ever-so-famous brownies while typing! *yummmmmmmmm!!!* cannot lar, later ma mother cums down n c mi eating junk food i'm gonna ghana man!!! better hide it...ok...*eden takes a quick look around her n shoves all d brownies in2 her mouth!!!* yap! destroyed all evidence! *hehe!*
*licking her fingers* can't scold mi lar...i was so exhausted coz i worked d ENTIRE dae on wednesday frm lyk 11am-8pm!!! so tiring ok...summore d next dae had 2 continue working 4-8 wif a splittin headache...no wonder i was busted! @ least now i'm ok i guess...muz haf been overworked tt's y...n it was lyk, on thursdae we went chinatown 4 a while n it was snowing (AGAIN!!!!!! i can't believe it man...wut's wif d weather in edmonton????) so i tout probably i caught a chill or sth...or mayb one of d pple in chinatown juz came back frm china or sth wif SARS n i caught it!! oh well...i was juz entertaining d tout while lying on ma bed till noon :) *hehe!* (had excuse 2 sleep late!)
oh yesh! i dyed ma sista's hair 4 her!!! aye i streaked it ok!!! not bad huh??? @ least tt required sum skills! but i was darn slow n took lyk a million yrs...n i did it after i worked full-time summore! yar lar! but it's kinda nice though! *i'm goooooood man!!!* thank you thank you but i dun sign autographs! but u can book ur appointment wif mi now so tt i can help 2 streak ur hair wen i return!!! *hahaha!* sori! been X-tremely cornie 2dae :)
yesh...i've been stuck doing work throughout d entire spring break...so sucky ok!!! if i'm not doing ma module, i'm working...n i can't go out 2dae coz i'm kinda sick...n probably i can't go out 2moro either!!! *sob!* WUT'S TIZ????? a holidae wifout a single dae going out!!!?? so sad :( oh well...n 2moro ma uncle's mom izz cumin back frm calgary...coz she actualli stays wif them but during winter, she "flys" over 2 america 2 avoid d cold winter (doesn't tt remind u of birds???) n now...she's cuming back! *freaky* coz d room tt we're staying in izz actualli d storeroom, they moved all d stuff in2 HER room n now they gotta find a way 2 clear everyting! i'm actualli feeling kinda scared 4 them coz of d amount of stuff there izz! n they juz moved everyting out n it filled d entire basement...sigh...but izz it our fault 2 stay in their place n ghana them lyk tt??? i dunno...mayb...
OHHHH!!!!! i got ma 1st salary!!!!
*hehe!* dun need 2 elaborate on tt lar hor? noting much 2 say aniwaes! oh yeah! tt dae jon-jon n joanna were so cute, i'll repeat their conversation 4 u 2 read:
jon-jon n joanna were tokin bout hu was born 1st in their family n everyting
jon: so daddie came 1st, den mummie, den timmy, den mi, den u, den baby! c! u're 2nd last! but den there's aunt estella n eden n effie but i dunno hu was born 1st...i only noe tt aunt estella den...
joanna: so izz eden born 1st or effie?
jon: eden of coz! she's taller!
mi: noo...effie's taller den mi but i'm older!
joanna: eden, how cum u're still so short den?
jon: joanna!!! of coz she hafn't grown taller! her birthdae hafn't cum yet!
*haha!* so cute rite? ok lar...i tink tiz entry's long enuff...mayb i'll continue next time!
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