rediscovering eden
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the bright and morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
whom shall i fear
whom shall i fear
i am yours
dailies
Monday, July 21, 2003
-12:01:00 a.m.
hey! guess most of u must b surprised 2 c mi blog esp since i dun haf a computer @ home but yes, i haf my ways...*evil grinz* no lar, *haha* i'm @ ma daddy's office now so i'm using his computer!!! i noe, all u pple r going..."u daddy's gurl..." *heehee* but i LYK being ma daddy's gurl...hey, i've been deprived 4 7 months man!!! sumhow, seeing sum pple juz makes mi realize how much i actuallie miss them...i mean, i knew i missed them wen i hafn't seen them 4 so long yet after sum time, the feeling kinda subsided u noe? den i dun realli tink so much bout it n live my simple ordinary life in canada...
actuallie cum 2 tink about it, my canadian life realli had been tough, but sumhow i managed 2 survive...i mean, can u imagine going 2 skool 4 1/2 a yr w/out a fren @ all? ok, so mayb i haf "frenz" but "aquaintances" is a more suitable word 4 them...n even "aquaintances" i onlie haf 4 so it was realli quite a drastic change 4 mi, considering the fact tt i definitely had more than 4
frenz here wen i left...but the ting izz, wen i look @ the positive side of things, not hafing frenz izzn't realli all such a big deal...i mean, i haf a lot less frenship problems than sum of the pple i noe n i never haf 2 worry bout my frenz only being surface frenz or peer pressure or wutever :) ok, so y shld i be complaining???!!! yeah lar...i guess the loneliness juz creeps up 2 mi sumtimes n c-ing other pple in my skool all in cliques while i am the loner realli changed my perspective...i guess now i can realli empathize w/ loners huh? :) *heehee* hmm...mayb next time i mite end up as a counsellor n this experience could help w/ it *grinz*
so aniwae,
AIYOH!!!!! i digressed so much again.........wut i was trying 2 sae was tt my life in canada was realli simple too though, no "emotional manipulation" (as clara calls it!!!) n juz live each day as it goes...no stress, ok teachers whom u dun even need 2 listen 2 but still ace the subjects :) so yar, if u tink about it, life's supposedly pretty good...but i tink i've lost sth: my emotions...over there, i've learnt 2 control my emotions so well it's realli...almost gone...coz if i dun do tt, i mite haf end up suffering frm depression...i guess i'm realli quite an emotional person so it would've been too overwhelming 4 mi...
yet sumhow, cuming back here had switched my "OFF" button to "ON" again...i dunno y, i feel tt so far this 1/4 of my trip had made mi "feel" more than being "really there"...u noe wut i mean? it's lyk, i feel as though i've submerged myself in2 my inner emotions more than concentrating on being there...so i realli shld bring maself out soon b4 i spend n waste the whole of my highly-anticipated trip
IN myself :P *haha* i tink most of u haf no idea wut i'm toking about!!! oh well!
oh yeah...i'm realli glad 2 c all of u again, tout i shld let u noe :) it's been nice...n i can tok as long as i want on the fone w/ everyone (tupperware!!!!!) w/out feeling bad about the fonebills!!! :P yet tings haf changed...u noe, sumtimes i felt as though i've been in a time warp...lyk i was in a dream all along but yet wen i wake up, everything's different...coz 2 mi, my frenz r still tt closely-knitted bunch i remember @ the airport n i had expected 2 cum back c-ing u all still lyk tt, it's foolishness on my part...n i never came 2 the realization tt we've (or u've all) grown apart alreadi till i saw it 4 myself, everyone has different n new frenz alreadi n i guess i shld start 2 accept tt (though it kinda makes mi feel lyk a failure!!!)...it's juz tt it's kinda a blow 4 mi 2 c everyone not so close animore...but i can handle it lar :)
oh well...i tink i shld get going now, it's almost 2pm n i gotta go 2 SAM 4 my date w/ mr tan *ahahahahahahahahahaha!* nah...time 2 c my darling garden!!!!!!!!!!!! *grinz*
oh hey! u guyz wanna cum 4 the exhibition? got my garden leh!!! opening ceremony on thursday...oh yah...4got, all u pple da mang ren (big busy pple) mayb still hafing skool...:(
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