rediscovering eden
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the bright and morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
whom shall i fear
whom shall i fear
i am yours
dailies
Sunday, December 07, 2003
-11:58:00 p.m.
there was a new gurl @ church 2dae n it REALLI REALLI reminded mi of the time wen i juz came coz we came around this time too last yr...lyk on the 8th dec i tink? aniwae, it's the 7th 2dae so yeah *haha* i guess u can tell tt there's @ least a strong resemblence in the time part ^^ din realli get 2 tok 2 her...but i heard tt she's frm china n most of the pple @ church can only speak cantonese n english rite? (ok, mayb most of them can speak french too but tt's besides the point *haha!*) aniwae, they tried toking 2 her in mandrain (it was hilarious!!! *haha!*) but luckily she could speak a lil english so tt spared all our ears frm the rotten (n totally out of tune) mandrain tt they were saying!!! *hahahahaha!*
yapz...but i oso din noe y i din go n tok 2 her, it juz felt weird...as if i was looking @ myself (but her) in the exact situation tt i was in one yr back n i din wanna go n make "mi" feel comfortable in this new surrounding...i felt lyk i was one of those pple last yr hu were all settled down w/ frenz n not very interested in a newcomer (though i dun exactly define myself as one hu is "all settled down w/ frenz" lar)...yet @ the same time though, i felt as though i could hear wut she was saying in her head n how she's feeling, coz the way the pple @ my church was treating her the same way they treated mi last yr...so mayb i was too busy transporting myself back in time n experiencing wut SHE'S probably experiencing then tt i couldn't bring myself 2 b friendly 2 her...even though i knew so well how she felt 2 b new 2 a foreign place...i guess i wanted 2 go tok 2 her, i've alwaes felt tt way 2 new pple but there's alwaes sth holding mi back...
so k, here's the deal, i wonder if tt's oso how most pple feel bout new pple, n actualli i do noe exactly wut's holding mi back...(this mite sound realli mean, but i realli feel this way sumtimes) ok, coz i tink u guyz noe tt i've been new 2 tons of places b4 rite? lyk after migrating twice n all the changin skools n churches crap, i noe how new pple feels coz i've experienced it alot...n it SUCKS, i alwaes go in2 depression after being new somewhere...no kidding! coz i'm not lyk a super bubbly n friendly person rite, so usually i takes around 1 yr plus b4 i feel a lil more adjusted 2 tt place...so i tink wen i c a new person, i want her 2 suffer the same way as i did...coz i tout it wasn't fair tt we were both presented in the same situation n yet i had 2 suffer so much b4 being accepted while she gets accepted so quickly w/ no sweat...pretty evil of mi dun u tink??? but yet i noe tt's exactly the reason y i'm not friendly 2 new gurls...
oso, i guess c-ing them alwaes remind mi of the times wen i'm having a hard time adjusting (expecially my pri 3 days) so usually i'll wait 4 sum time until they're "not-so-new" animore b4 talking 2 them? i guess i've gotta change tt soon eh? hmm...so...yes! tt shall b my new x'mas resolution!!!! ^^
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